ups and downs

First things first - I forgot to mention this in my last post, but thanks to everyone for supporting/reading my blog! I currently have 220 views, which is awesome. :) It's really nice to know that so many people are following what I'm doing, since I'm far away and haven't been in constant communication with a lot of people. Also, I have received some really thoughtful emails from a few people, so I wanted to thank you guys for sharing your thoughts. A few people mentioned that they tried to comment but couldn't get their message sent through; I'll take a look at it and see if I can give some easy directions on how to work that.

I've had a few more unexpected teaching experiences (seriously, "unexpected" is what this whole experience seems to be about). I was spending time at the high school a few days ago when an announcement was made that a teacher passed away over the weekend. I think most students were already aware, but we had students who had been in class with this teacher, and she had been teaching at the same school for over thirty years. She was very involved in the school and attended the football games, band concerts, etc. The mood of the room was a little somber, but we got through everything and the kids seemed okay.

My next highly unexpected event took place at the middle school. At the beginning of the seventh grade band rehearsal, I was in the office entering attendance into the computer. When I came out, the first thing I saw was a student sitting in her chair, holding her instrument, crying. The band was in the middle of rehearsal, and this student was just sitting in her place, crying. I went over and asked if she was okay, and she didn't respond. I asked her to come into the office with me for a minute.

I will spare the details because

1. it's a long story, and
2. I want to keep her personal information personal

but after a lot of tears, she ended up telling me she was suicidal. This was the same student I'd overheard discussing self-injury a few days earlier (and yes, I did tell my cooperating teacher about the first incident right away) so I immediately was concerned to see her so upset. We talked for a long time, and once she calmed down and opened up, I think it actually worked to my advantage that I'm pretty young, because she felt that I could understand her more easily than most "adults." I tried to carefully ask questions that would help me gain information without prying too much, and I let her vent for a while. Eventually, I asked her if I could bring her down to the counseling office and I was relieved she had said yes, since she'd specifically said she avoids the counselors. I was so glad I was there to help her in that moment and I felt we really connected. It was hard because it was extremely emotionally draining, and I wanted to follow up with her. . . I wanted to check in after that and ask her how she's doing, but I also don't want to press the issue with her. I told her she can come talk to me any time, any day, about anything. . . and I hope that if she needs or wants to, she'll take me up on the offer.

On a more positive note, I think I'm going to apply for Teach for America. For those that may not know, Teach for America is a 2-year program that places teachers in either urban or rural regions with a desperate need for teachers. The placements are in low-income communities, often with a great deal of racial/ethnic/cultural diversity. In one of my previous entries, I was discussing that one of the main challenges when working with low-income students is that their lifestyles don't prioritize learning. When their families and communities don't value education, of course the students don't, either. And when the parents grew up with parents who didn't value education, it's all a vicious cycle. I think one of the best strategies here is to REALLY reinforce the value of education and learning right from step one, which is one of the reasons I'm especially excited about Teach for America. . . . some of their placements are early childhood settings. So, I could be working right in the forefront of (what I believe to be) the problem, and that's really exciting to me.

In other news, my senior flute recital back at Lawrence will be on Monday, March 8th at 8 pm, and you should all come if you can. :) Yes, I know that Monday night is not ideal and I didn't want that time, either, but that's life.