I am so technologically impaired.

I spent at least 15 minutes fighting with a photocopier today.

I feel like a real teacher now.

And, for the record, I won the fight and managed to make several hundred copies for the high school final exams.

Shannon = +1
technology = 0

wrapping it up

The more I dwell on the fact that I'll soon be leaving, the more sad I feel . . . so, I need to quit thinking about leaving and start thinking about how to make my last week as awesome as it possibly can be. I feel like the last few pre-concert rehearsals are tricky. I want to rehearse the pieces straight through and see what the trouble spots are, so I can go back and fix them. It's challenging, though, because you need to gauge how much change you can effectively make. Whenever you're working on new concepts, you need to make the change/teach the idea and then REINFORCE it as much as possible - the students really need the reinforcement in order to solidify the concept and adjust to the change. Since our concert is on Wednesday, the B day classes will rehearse twice (Mon. & Wed) before the concert and the A day classes will only rehearse once (Tuesday). So, there's limited "reinforcement" time and I have a hard time gauging what adjustments can effectively be made. At the same time, though, it's important to keep pushing the students forward and encouraging musicality.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it at same point already, but in case I didn't, the orchestra teacher asked me to accompany the orchestra on piano for the concert (the band & orchestra share a concert). Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a good pianist. At all. My only piano experience is the two terms of piano that Lawrence requires for music ed. I took those two classes my freshman year, which is now four years ago. I was so nervous for my piano final that I totally panicked and blew it; it was terrible. My piano teacher was amazingly understanding and let me have a second go at it, since she knew it was just nerves. But really. I haven't taken or played any piano in four years, and four years ago, I had to take the final twice in order to pass. I warned the orchestra teacher, but basically I am the only person who can do it. I practiced the parts and actually felt pretty good about it . . . until I rehearsed with them last week. I assumed that beginner orchestra = slow tempo. WRONG. They are whipping through Jingle Bells and Ode to Joy like nobody's business. Suffice it to say that I have my work cut out for me.

People ask me fairly often which age group I prefer to work with, and I've actually spent a fair amount of time thinking about it, but I have a hard time coming up with a definitive answer. Everyone assumes that middle school kids are awful, and while they have sometimes frustrated me in ways that high schoolers never have, I also find working with them to be really rewarding. I love beginners - if I could teach beginner band all day every day, I would love it. I love their excitement and enthusiasm; I love their eagerness to learn. I like that they do not come in with bad habits to be redirected. I like the feeling that I'm giving them the musical foundation they will have for the rest of their lives - and I like knowing that setting a strong foundation will help them every step of the way as they continue on. I like knowing that I'm instilling a love for music, and I like that the results are so easily seen - it's very much an "instant gratification" thing at the beginning. Middle schoolers in general have a TON of energy, and I think this is why people seem to either love them or hate them. Tons of uncontrolled energy = chaos and misbehavior. On the other hand, tons of controlled/directed energy = awesome potential to work together and create something great.

I find that high schoolers tend to have less of this energy because they're more self-conscious. Middle schoolers aren't afraid to say or do anything, but high schoolers are worried about being cool and are very aware of everything they say and do, because they don't want to look silly in front of their peers. Because of this, I find it harder to start connecting with the students. Younger kids are inclined to immediately open up and they really want your approval. High schoolers are more reserved and kind of size you up before letting you in. Once you've established a relationship, though, I really like the relationship with older kids. I like that we can have in-depth conversations, because they can communicate on an adult level. I 100% feel that middle schoolers should be pushed to think and perform musically, but because of their age and musical experience, high schoolers are able to delve further into musical concepts, and I like being able to explore more intricate aspects of music. I like the sense of humor high schoolers have, and I like the general social atmosphere and the "school spirit." Also, high school music students are generally pretty committed to music, so between their personal investment and the maturity added on by the few extra years, a lot of the classroom management/behavioral issues have weeded themselves out.

I guess I'll figure it out as I go. :) At this point, I feel pretty open to teaching different levels.

My last week in New Mexico

I was trying to talk quietly since I made this video at night, after I got home late from work. . . so, I'm attempting to speak quietly and I think it made me sound really sad. Just for clarification, I wasn't sad, just quiet. And we all know that I don't have an indoor voice, so "quiet" was really hard for me and this was the end result. :P

Facebook prevails

Also, on a totally unrelated note, I just had a band parent send me a friend request on Facebook. I love technology.

expect the unexpected

So, of all the weird, unexpected things that could POSSIBLY happen, my band concert just got snowed out. In New Mexico. And no, I am not kidding.

In coming to New Mexico, I assumed I would be snow-free, and was proven wrong. It doesn't snow much at all in Albuquerque itself; I think it has snowed three days that I've been here, and each time, it's never more than flurries. Nothing sticks.

Outside of Albuquerque, though, the mountains get a LOT of snow due to the elevation and temperature differences. A good amount of the students, especially at my high school, live in the mountains and travel about a half hour or so to school every day. So, sometimes Albuquerque gets flurries or rain, but the kids in the mountains have heavy snow. This morning, all Albuquerque Public School District schools were on a 2 hour delay because of the weather. Instead of just calling off school for the whole day, they push the schedule back, hope the weather will clear a little, and start two hours later to give the kids in the mountains a chance to get themselves to school. This is a nice idea in theory, but half the mountain kids still show up late throughout the day due to car problems, and half the kids that DON'T live in the mountains just never show up, because if they're coming in late, they figure that they might as well not show up at all.

This morning, there was some ice on the ground in Albuquerque and the streets were wet, but there was no visible snow. The mountains are covered, though, and while it looks pretty, it causes a lot of transportation problems for the families that live there. The high school ended up canceling tonight's concert because a HUGE amount of the band kids didn't make it to school at all, and would have a hard time making to the concert.



The unfortunate part isn't that the concert had to be canceled, but that it cannot be rescheduled this semester. We have two weeks until the end of the semester, and within those two weeks, there's a huge jazz concert, finals, and all the craziness that finals brings. The high school director is also going to be out of town for a few days, and there are other events going on in the gym, so space is limited. The way it works out, it just won't be possible to reschedule the concert until January, when I'll already be back in Wisconsin. :(

So, it's disappointing, but it's life. Really, most of the valuable learning moments occur during class, and performing is an exciting experience because you get to share what you've learned. It would have been nice to perform with the high schoolers and I'm disappointed that I can't, but at the same time, it's just not possible to reschedule and I feel good about the musical progress that we made, performance or not.

Also, once I'm back in Wisconsin, telling people that my New Mexican Christmas concert got snowed out will be an entertaining story.

crazy behavior and high schoolers

Noteworthy things that have happened/are happening:

One of my students is pregnant. I won't say anything else because I don't want to compromise anyone's privacy, but she is not 18 or a senior in high school, which means staying in school will be an additional challenge for her on top of all the other challenges she is going to face.

I went to a a pep rally at the high school last week, which was interesting and surprisingly fun. For a variety reasons, I am glad that my high school did not have competitive sports teams, but the pep rally here highlighted the positive side of sports and competitions. It was nice because all of the different teams and organizations (the basketball team, dance team, cheerleading squad, band, etc.) got a chance to perform something for the school. The sports teams did little drills and scrimmages against the teachers, which all the students were really into. I also found it really interesting, because the stereotypical "cheerleader" image brings to mind a peppy little blonde girl. . . and there was one blonde girl on the cheerleading squad. I don't think there was a single one on the dance team. Just a reminder how the standard of beauty isn't necessarily a universal standard. Welcome to New Mexico; there aren't many blonde girls around.



There is a particular boy in the eighth grade band that has been really difficult all year. He is disrespectful, loud, talks back, doesn't pay attention, doesn't seem to even attempt playing the right notes . . . the list is endless. The part that drives me crazy is that he rarely ever behaves this way for Mr. Johnson, and I can't for the life of me figure out what I'm doing differently that's getting such negative behavior from him. However, having talked to the other teachers in the school, the consensus seems to be that this kid's religious and cultural beliefs don't look highly on women. Basically, he was raised to view women as submissive, staying in the home, etc., and was never taught to treat them with respect, because he is used to a very male-dominated way of life. So, none of the male teachers really have issues with this kid, but ALL of the female teachers do. That is an issue that I never saw coming, and am not quite sure how to handle.

My concert with the high school is tomorrow night! I don't feel nervous yet and don't think that I have anything to be nervous about . . . . but I know the way my body works, and I'll probably get nervous right at the last minute. My high school experience has been a little funky since I only meet with them twice a week, I didn't start with them right at the beginning of the year, etc. . . I just always felt more like an outsider and observer than really a part of their classroom. It's getting to the point now where I am starting to feel involved and I enjoy the kids there. Of course, we're also nearing the end of my time here, but better late than never.

There are a few kids both in band and music theory who seek me out regularly to ask for help with their work, and it's nice that they look to me first. I think sometimes high school girls find me intimidating in a way that middle schoolers don't, since middle schoolers are less self-conscious, and since they're younger, they view me as an "adult." 17 and 18 year-old high schoolers realize that while I'm older than they are, I'm still somewhat close to their age. I think some of them either feel that they don't know how to interact with me, since I'm not their peer but I'm not "old" like their other teachers, or they get on the defensive and do the catty girl thing where they feel like they need to "prove" that they're cool. I don't feel that I'm a terribly threatening person, but I guess others do. There's one particular student that I've really been getting the catty vibe from, but today she came into the office and said hi to me and asked me how my day was. . . and she was just really nice. She asked if I'd be staying for her class later on and I told her I was and she said something silly like, "Oh cool. . . well, me too. . . so I'll see you." It made me laugh. A lot of the girls will now will compliment me on my hair or clothes. . . one of them stayed after class to ask me if I could show her how I tied the scarf I was wearing. So, I guess we've moved on to girl bonding.



*AND*

You might remember that I had huge problems a clarinet player at the high school that just had a terrible attitude. Over time, she's calmed down and began to respect me. I think part of her initial reaction was that she is insecure and felt threatened by the fact that I came in and was telling her do things differently than she'd been doing them before. For the last five or so class periods, every time I'm in her class, she stays a few minutes after and asks me to help her with her music. Amazing. So, bottom line = high school kids (especially girls) are a lot different, but they are fun and I like them.

the final interview

So, Teach for America application process = 100% done. If I've been kind of MIA for the past week or two, it definitely was not personal, so I'm sorry if anyone feels ignored . . . I've been entirely consumed with paperwork, lesson planning, etc. I'll try to respond to emails within the next day or so. Between school, upcoming concerts, work, and Teach for America, I've had more than my fair share of work to do.

That said, I think I feel pretty good about everything. My piece with the high schoolers is coming along well, and my cooperating teacher is happy with both how the group sounds and the improvements he's seeing in my conducting. At the middle school, we ended up dropping the 8th grade piece that I thought would have to go . . . and although I was initially disappointed, I'm over it at this point. There's only so much I can do, and I did everything within my capability. Without worrying about that piece, though, we can focus on more musical details in our other repertoire, so at least there is a positive tradeoff. The 7th graders have made a lot of improvements on our piece, and the flute choir should come together because the 8th graders are doing a great job.

On the Teach for America front, I've done everything there is to do . . . at this point, all that's left to do is wait until January 21st to receive results. Today was my final interview and although there's never a way to know anything for sure, I feel positive about the experience. I feel that I did the best I could, and that I presented myself honestly and professionally. I feel that I was very upfront about my experiences, interests, and motivations. I was positively surprised to find that the other candidates were very friendly and receptive. Since this is a competitive program, you never know what to expect. . . . it's almost like an audition, and auditions are infamous for rude, cold interactions. There were only 6 of us in total, and weirdly enough, there were only women. Some of us had educational experience and some did not; some were recent college graduates and some were not. I was pleased to find everyone welcoming and encouraging; it didn't feel like a cut-throat environment, thank goodness. Both of the Teach for America staff members were laid-back and easy going, and I felt that we were able to relate well in my interview. So, all together I feel positive and hopeful and, as I've been saying, I would love to be accepted. If I'm not, though, I think I can be at peace with it because I gave it my best. If I don't make it in, I will be disappointed, but I'll know that it wasn't because of a failure on my part; I feel good about everything I've contributed and I've done everything I can. I hope that I'm what they're looking for. We'll find out next month, so send me all the good vibes that you can. :)